Page 156
This list has been circulating the net for years. Use it to analyse the degree of your addiction. Just check as many as apply and total them up at the end:
[ ] Your bookmarks take 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
[ ] You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.
[ ] You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.
[ ] You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a cellular modem and a laptop.
[ ] You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap... and your child in the overhead compartment.
[ ] You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
[ ] You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
[ ] You start introducing yourself as "smith@home dot com "
[ ] Your partner drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
[ ] All of your friends have an @ in their names.
[ ] Your dog has its own home page.
[ ] You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.
[ ] You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
[ ] Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
[ ] You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask. (although PsychoBitch is a giveaway)
[ ] You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms.
[ ] You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
[ ] You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html
[ ] You actually try that 123.elm.street address.
[ ] Your virtual girlfriend finds a new net sweetheart with a larger bandwidth.
[ ] You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Mom's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.
[ ] The last girl you picked up was only a jpeg.
[ ] You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
[ ] You leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you think it sounds like the ocean wind... the perfect soundtrack for "surfing the net".
[ ] As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
YOUR SCORE [ ] out of [ 25 ]
Less than 10
You’re probably not spending enough time online. Try harder. Turn off the TV, stop going out dancing, and log on more frequently.
Between 10 and 20
An averagely good score but you could be taking it just a little more seriously. Be honest with yourself. Do you really log on *every* day? Even when you’re on holiday?
20 and above
Congratulations! It must have been quite an effort for you to tear your eyes away from the screen long enough to get over halfway through this book. Or are you emailing while you read? That’s the spirit!
